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 Have you ever had a confrontation with a valued employee that left both of you hurt and angry? Did you ever truly resolve the conflict or was it pushed under the rug like so many of us do? The Bad News Is...- conflict will never go away.
The Good News Is...- you can learn important lessons from conflict so that defensiveness, threats and disappointments are cut to a minimum and walking on the office carpet is no longer an obstacle course.
In this session you will learn skills to:
- Get resolution rather than get mad or get even
- Communicate to be heard and appreciated
- Transform conflict into trust and creativity
- Uncover hidden patterns and improve productivity
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Conflict may never be fun yet it can become healthy fertilizer for growing yourself and your employees. This program can be tailor designed for your staff for half day or whole day. It is both educational and entertaining with lasting results. Call Mary Jane Saras at (570) 636-3858 or e-mail maryjane@ceoptions.com for more information.
* Confusing as in "conflict is fuzzy and bums me out!"
Dealing with employee conflict is a major part of my staff's responsibilities. We are sending our entire company through the "OUCH" program in groups of 25. So far we see people "Stop, breath, think" before they respond to an upsetting situation. When employees gain awareness of the part they play in conflict and respond in a more accountable way, fewer problems make their way to H.R. Karen McGlaughlin
Director of Human Resources
Neill Corp.
Hammond, La |
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  | Secret Alliances Did you ever see several employees talking and when you went to join the group the conversation melted away and you were left with an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach wondering what was said before you got there? Were you ever given a frosty nod by a colleague at work and you had no idea what you did to create the upset? Did you ever request help from a direct report and get a wooden response of agreement yet the unspoken message was one of anger? If you would take the time to follow the thread of this behavior at work you can often find one employee stirring the pot. The power of the pattern called splitting is one of the most divisive and costly for any business. Splitters are usually bright individuals who initially present well, are full of ideas and promises to help your business grow and claim to be willing to go the extra mile for optimum results. That is, until they are put to the test. Here's the story from a CEO of a middle size medical marketing company. "When I hired John he had been "let go" (polite talk for fired) from a large health care company. He left because he and his boss could not see eye to eye and as John stated in a sad voice "She won, but they'll see her true colors and she won't be there long". So I took a chance although I had a bit of concern since I would now be his new boss. He claimed to have lots of contacts and initially he had great ideas in our team meetings. Yet after six months not much had been produced. He kept saying that he was "working his contact list" and that new business takes time. I tend to move very quickly and believe there are many ways up the mountain so I slowed down to give him a chance. Read more... |
| “Patterns In Play” is a new column devoted to bringing you a case study of a specific pattern in play at work. We invite you to visit our Chat Room at www.ceoptions.com to share your comments and your own personal challenges. Patterns are “repetitive reactions that can keep us stuck in the world of ‘always’ and ‘never’ and influenced by family, culture and crisis. Leaders who can learn to read and redesign patterns can help create a work environment that limits the game called office politics. |
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 Staff Recognition and Appreciation: Ben Baker Jr. Ben, an engineer by training worked in his chosen profession for many years. Technically savvy and enjoying his work he began to go to leadership seminars and found the people part of organizations as intriguing as the technical part. He became active in the Association for Training and Development (ASTD) and made the decision to take what he knows about technical systems and interface that with new learning about human systems. After completing CEO's Total Leadership Connections program he was convinced he could make an impact in the work world especially with his "techy" peers, helping to define the systemic aspects of relating at work."Just like a complex machine or building, we as people are connected and if one part of the relationship system changes it all changes." As a facilitator, Ben is taking the key programs about communication, "Get the But Out of Your Yes" conflict resolution "OUCH!" and work relationships "The Power of Patterns " to corporations and educational Institutions in the Pennsylvania, New Jersey and New York areas. He is also certified to facilitate the Team Challenge Course at The Country Place Retreat and Conference Center and is working with the Young Leaders in Action Program. Contact Ben at ben@ceoptions.com. |
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 WHERE ARE THE LEADERS TO FILL THESE SHOES? |
 Total Leadership Connections Gives those on the fast track the inside track Can leaders be developed to achieve extraordinary results in just 10 days? We believe they CAN & WILL! Our Total Leadership Connections Program gives those on the fast track the inside track. Graduates have proven its success through promotions, profits and outstanding performance. We're in the "make you successful" business with a product that is leading edge, unique and entertaining as well as educational. Join our next session beginning with dinner on Wednesday evening, September 21 to 23 through lunch on Friday, September 23 and participate in enriching your life personally as well as professionally. Visit our website www.ceoptions.com for more information or call Mary Jane Saras at (570-636-3858).
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 | Tale of the Tattletale Q: | "My administrative assistant is a great help. She is computer savvy and is precise in setting up meetings. Yet there is a major flaw that diminishes all her good work; She is a gossip! I often find out that people know stuff that is none of their business. Example: I was preparing to do a performance review with a sales tech whose numbers were low. I was on the phone in my office with a colleague talking about how to handle the situation. The sales tech came in to see me that afternoon to defend his numbers. I had not even requested a meeting with him. A coincidence? This happens too frequently. Yet, when I ask my assistant she stares at me in wonder and says she would never discuss what she hears, she is loyal to me, and is offended by my questioning. In fact, she reminds me how she is always telling me the office gossip so I can be prepared for upsets. What is really going on? HELP!" | A: | You are up against a complex personality in your administrative assistant. She is a great example of a splitter - saying one thing to you, her boss and then grabbing power with her peers by using key information. She will agree with you to please you and agree with them to please them. Splitters as children often played and important role as message bearers between parents who did not get along. They learn to side with each one against the other. Splitters are afraid that direct confrontation can be disastrous. As children they felt powerless to heal the rift between the parents and so went from one to the other always hoping things would get better. Splitters grow into adults who feel weak inside and can only grab a sense of power by playing people off against each other. Those whose major pattern is splitting create havoc at work. Read more... |
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|  Sylvia Lafair, Ph.D. is the President and Co-Founder of Creative Energy Options, Inc. Her long-standing success has come from helping individuals, teams and organizations uncover the habits and patterns that have been the underlying drivers of behavior. She is currently writing a book about patterns in the workplace. If you would like Sylvia to answer your question, e-mail it to info@ceoptions.com |
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PEPtalk is a free monthly eNews from Creative Energy Options, Inc. (CEO)—a global consulting, coaching and leadership development company on the cutting-edge of business transformation. We hope it provides the solutions you need to apply the Pattern Aware Leadership (PAL) System to your daily work and home life. It is published every month and filled with leadership news and views, success stories, special events and valuable tips to energize your leadership.
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